Monday, January 30, 2012

Menaces to Society

Let's face it. Mormons have a pretty bad reputation for getting married when they’re like 17, and after knowing their future spouse for only 2 weeks (okay, okay, I'm exaggerating a lot, but that’s pretty much the case, am I right?)  Especially at BYU, so many girls get married as freshman and sophomores, and the boys only months after returning home from serving missions. And then when you're not hitched by, say, 22, you're this freak of a person and a menace to society. Mormons should not get married at such young ages, or so quickly into the dating process, because they need more time to fully mature and grow, to get to know their future companion, and to make sure they're marrying for the right reasons, rather than just pleasing Mormon society and/or their parents.

From a scientific perspective, the human brain doesn’t even fully develop until people reach their 30’s and even late 40’s. The prefrontal cortex, the region of the brain right behind the forehead, is an area that goes through the longest phases of development. This area of the brain is vital for functions such as planning and decision-making, and is a key area for social awareness and behavior, interacting with others, as well as for the development of several personality traits. Research shows that there is a strong link between the prefrontal cortex and a person’s personality. If one’s personality and maturity is not even completely developed until their 30’s or 40’s, how can one expect to be mature enough to be marrying the right person in their late teens or early 20’s? I’m not saying you should necessarily wait until your 30’s or 40’s to get married, but you should at least allow your brain to mature more, prior to marrying. My parents were married when my mother was almost 19, and my father almost 20, and they continue to be happily married with 4 kids. My parents, however, are the exception, and this is not the case for most couples marrying in their teens and early twenties. The greatest indicator for probability of divorce is the wife’s age. Within 20 years, 67% of marriages in which the bride is 18 years old or younger end in divorce. There is not an exact age in which you should get married, but too many LDS couples are rushing to get married at very young ages, when they aren’t mature enough to be married.

Going along with being mature enough to be marrying, former President of the LDS church, Gordon B. Hinckley, states in an a First Presidency message that “There is need for another education, without which the substance of secular learning may lead only to destruction. I refer to the education of the heart, of the conscience, of the character, of the spirit—these indefinable aspects of our personalities which determine so certainly what we are and what we do in our relationships one with another.” LDS members need to spend more time not only maturing, but educating their hearts, conscience, character, and spirit; all of which are key factors that affect marital relationships.

A couple of months of dating are not enough time to fully get to know someone, especially considering this person is someone you’ll be committing to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, many people say that they “know” they’re meant to be with someone early into relationships, and a large part of me really does believe in soul mates, but how sure can you really be that soon into a relationship? I believe this is one of the reasons that the church divorce rate of 25% is nearly as high as the national divorce rate of 34%. There also is not a timeline or a certain amount of time to date before you get married, but many consider the average age that Latter Day Saint members are getting married, way too young.  Jeffry Larson, professor of marriage and family therapy at BYU, says that “usually by mid-20s college is finished, there is less financial stress, there has been plenty of time to date and most are emotionally and cognitively mature.” He continues, “those who marry when they are 19 or 20 are generally less self aware and don't have much relationship experience.”

Pleasing parents and society is another pushing factor as to why Mormons get married so quickly. We are told in Genesis to multiply and replenish the Earth, and modern-day Prophets and apostles are heavily pushing marriage, especially towards young men. Apostle Richard G. Scott spoke in General Conference, saying, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits…Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life.” This is clearly divinely inspired, and I do not wish to contradict Richard G. Scott, but it’s easy to see how many young men hear this and assume they need to hurry and find a wife, so they won’t be wasting time in “idle pursuits”.  I have nothing against marriage itself, and plan on being married in the near future (not too near though!), and recognize that marriage is a core LDS teaching, but I feel that the constant pressure on young men to find a wife, and settle down may push some to move too fast, and make irrational decisions regarding companionship.

Mormons should not rush so much into getting married, and need to spend more time dating, and getting to know their future spouses. It is vital to give yourself time in college and elsewhere, to fully mature: emotionally and physically, build character, and become more self-aware prior to settling down and committing to eternal life with your companion.



The gorgeous San Diego Temple, where I intend to be married eventually :) 


            

Friday, January 27, 2012

Feeling This

I'm startin to get sick of this whole winter business. Yes, I'm "from" Colorado, but I was born and raised in the oh so sunny and quite warm San Diego. I'm sick of being cold, and having to wear like 10 layers of clothing....and yet, still be cold. And no I'm not a big snow fan. Occasionally it's fun...like going sledding and the spontaneous snowball fight (oh wait....snowballs are illegal in Provo...yeah that's freaking weird)

I'm also startin to get sick of this whole Utah thang. I love Mormons and errything but sometimes I just need a break from the "Mormon Scene". I've never really been one to do typical Mormon activities like sit around and bake cookies and watch Disney movies.

Side note... What is with Mormon's obsessions with Disney movies?! Okay, they're cool every once in a while for a little reminiscing on childhood, but honestly the last time I watched a Disney movie was probably 3 or 4 years ago...at least. Okay, anywho... I feel like my entire ward (which consists of mostly people from Utah or Mesa...both heavily Mormon populated areas...not sure if this is a factor?) enjoys doing those "typical" Mormon things...and I feel like sometimes I'm just the weird outsider. A perfect Friday night for me would probably involve going to some sort of concert or live show (at Velour or Muse....both are great and you should check em out!) of an indie-ish band, going out to eat somewhere, maybe walk around "downtown" or something, and maybe end it with a chill movie...Preferably not Disney...or Twilight....or Harry Potter... (I just made myself sound very indie...Which I guess I slightly am...)

Ooh or maybe end my night with some Criminal Minds... It's probably my favorite T.V. show... Mostly because it's intense and scary and just plain great....but also a large part of my liking for it is because of my fondness for one of the characters, Spencer Reid. Holy Hannah. (My newly acclaimed "Utah Phrase"...Mommas gonna be so proud I'm a Utah girl now! haha not :p) I swear, I will marry that beautiful boy one day. He's literally the perfect combination of nerdy and hot.

Oh another earlier side note... The obsession with Twilight and Harry Potter....Mormons seriously all seem to have the same overly obsessive personality trait. I'm not exactly one to talk though! I have a little problem with Tumblr and Twitter. Especially Tumblr....It's so freaking great. I seriously have an addiction. In the last month, alone, I've "tumbled" about 300 times. If you don't know what it is...check it out. That and Twitter are my two weaknesses...Confession: I'm tumbling right now :p....

So my post title... Feeling This...well it's a pretty fricken tight song that i'm a bit obsessed with right now....Blink 182 is by far my favorite band (Yes...they're a little old school) .... Go on a journey and take a listen aight? For some reason I end up talking real ghetto late at night...lucky you! Mmkay ima stop rambling now...

Peace & Blessins y'all.

P.S. Not sure why I'm posting this picture b/c it just makes me mad that I'm not in California right now or any beach for that matter. Summer...please hurry up.




Monday, January 23, 2012

Logos, Pathos, & Ethos

Logos: I appeal to logic a few times throughout my paper by using actual numbers and statistics regarding statements. For example, I used the statistic that "within 20 years, 67% of marriages in which the bride is 18 years old or younger end in divorce". I also appealed to logic by talking about the growth and maturity of the human brain, and citing research done on the human brain. 

Pathos: I appeal to the emotions of the reader by using a personal story/example about my parents getting married young. I could also bring out negative emotions, especially with readers who have gotten married quickly or at young ages. I definitely have a more negative tone when talking about people getting married quickly, which could anger people. 

Ethos: I appeal to authority by quoting outside sources, and by using information from medical research done concerning the human brain. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Clams, Raisins, & Asymptotes...A.K.A Claims, Reasons, & Assumptions

Claim= Mormons should not get married so quickly or so young.

Reasons=

  •  People need more time to mature and grow on their own.
  • They need more time to get to know their future spouse.
  • The need to take time to make sure they're marrying for the right reasons. 

Assumptions=Mormons want to prevent failures in their marriage, and not rushing into marriage will lessen their chances of divorce later on.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Sweetly Sound The Wedding Bells.... (for now)

Topic: Mormons, and especially R.M.'s should NOT get married so quickly. Let's face it. Mormons have a pretty bad reputation for getting married when they're like 15 (okay okay, I'm exaggerating, but pretty much, right?!)  Especially at BYU, so many girls get married as freshman and sophomores, and the boys only months after returning from serving missions. And then when you're not married by, say, 22, you're this freak of a person and a menace to society.

Thesis: Mormons should not get married at such young ages, and so quickly, because they need more time to fully mature and grow, to get to know their future companion, and to make sure they're marrying for the right reasons, rather than just pleasing society or their parents.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Stormin' My Brain

My first assignment for Writing 150 (Opinion Editorial) is, of course, VERY vague and completely up to me to come up with a topic...so let me just bounce some ideas around...

1. Mormons (and especially R.M.'s) should NOT get married so quickly.

  • Divorce rate in the church is almost the same as the National divorce rate
  • The younger you are, the less you "know" yourself, and the less you've become the person you want to be

2. Rap and Hip-Hop are musical trash

  • The lyrics....enough said
  • The skills of almost any Hip-Hop/Rap artist are limited to rapping, and semi-descent singing (or are we just confused by the excessive use of auto-tune?)

3. Writing missionaries for girls at BYU is addicting and slightly unhealthy

4. Being a devout sports fan is actually beneficial to your health

  • Putting faith (and many times money) in something that you literally have no control over is healthy

5. Leggings ARE NOT pants

  • Even at BYU, girls try substituting leggings for pants.....WHY
  • Whoever started this trend deserves a smack

6. Why do all Mormons seem to have the same overly obsessive personality trait...? This is a legitimate question that I would like to find an answer for...

  • Twilight, Harry Potter, etc...

7. Utah really isn't that great (Sorry to anyone who lives in Utah!)

  • It's a bubble
  • Yes, the outdoors here are pretty, but not as pretty when compared to many of the places I've been to... (or lived in)
  • There's so many freaking billboards....
  • Construction.....ALL THE TIME

           

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

We Are All That We Are

Hey guys! My name's Rachel Castile York, and I was born and raised in the beautiful San Diego, California, and moved to (the equally beautiful!) Boulder, Colorado when I was 12. I'm 18 and a freshman at Brigham Young University, and plan to major in Advertising. If everything goes according to plan, I will hopefully find a job as an Art Director, or Advertising Designer at an Advertising Firm. I love to travel, and hope I can travel the world all throughout my life. Ideally I would love to live on one of the coasts, especially the South East Coast! Some random things you should know about me:
1. I love music, and everything about it. I've been to a lot of concerts, and plan on going to a lot more! 
2. I love watching football and am a Chargers fan! (San Diego!) 
3. I love movies. I could seriously watch movies back to back for days. 
4. I love animals, and especially my two dogs!

So now you know the basics!